Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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