like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize