This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
