So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
