idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
