You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
