i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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