Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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