I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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