is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
