Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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