Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ugly people sure do ruin things
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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