Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
