Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
