It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize