so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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