I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I DEMAND FORESKIN
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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