I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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