who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
no you cant smoke seaweed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
