I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
