So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
