my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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