youre lurking in front of me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
