i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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