Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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