so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am available for nakedness
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
