try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
