Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
