Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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