I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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