My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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