i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
