i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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