Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
