I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
