Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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