i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
