I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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