i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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