Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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