You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
