never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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