If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
