Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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