I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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