Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
