She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize