dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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