if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
