my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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