i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize