I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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