Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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