Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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