Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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