my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Two words: blizzard sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
