We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
