so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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