i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
