We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
