I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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