What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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