Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
