Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
