My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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